VAN DAMME: A RETROSPECTIVE (25 Career Highlights Good & Bad) PART 1

Hi everybody! I'm back! I know I know, its been way too long and you people have been craving the knowledge of the B-Movie king. I've been extremely busy as of late and haven't had a lot of personal time to myself. I know this is hard for you to believe, I mean this blog is run by a movie nerd with no life, but it is true. But be happy that I am back, in the midst of starting school and being even busier. Leave it to a procrastinator to find time to do something not important when much of my time needs to be dedicated to the important. Anyway, let's start with a solid feature I've been working on. Anyone that knows me personally knows I am a huge Van Damme fan. What can I say? I am a movie snob and elitist, but I was raised on the guy kicking heads and doing the splits so I will always have a soft spot in my heart. There was a time when this man could do no wrong for me, but as I slowly approach old age, JCVD's career has started to show some kinks in my mind. That being said, he's shown a side in recent years I didn't think he had in him. So lets take a look at the career highlights, good and horrible, of the man himself: Jean Claude Van Damme...

25) Double Team

I guess you could say this film had a chance to succeed. Van Damme and Rourke have put on some excellent performances in their time, but no, who am I kidding? Any movie with Dennis Rodman in a lead role is about as bad of an idea as deciding to cast Shaq the lead superhero in "Steel". Not only is this movie terrible in the acting department, it isn't even really intriguing in the action department. It moves incredibly slow and by the time you are done, you wonder what even happened. This is not the kind of movie you watch high and expect to be entertained. This is just flat out bad. Rumor has it Van Damme was high himself during almost the entire filming of this movie and it shows. Sadly he's still the best thing going for "Double Team".

24) The Order

Fresh out of the theaters and recently thrown in the straight to DVD bins, JCVD popularity was at an all time low. Van Damme's last theatrical releases were not well received and his first straight to DVD release "Desert Heat" was a stinker in it's own right. "The Order" looked to rebound Van Damme and find a new market for him in the rental department. While it did do well in rental sales, the film helped defuse my Van Damme spark. What we have here is JCVD impersonating Indiana Jones in a very typical and uninteresting movie. "The Order" tries to throw in some comedy and some past Van Damme co-stars for nostalgia sakes, but in reality it just falls flat of anything close to excitement.

23) No Retreat, No Surrender

This one is a little hard for me to rate as one of his bad films. I love the title, I love his role as the asshole russian bad guy, and every time I step into the ring I think about jumping onto the ropes doing the splits Van Damme style. I love full contact martial arts and this film was one of the first to show it in a competition standpoint. Sadly, the movie is so bad it is hard to sit through. It doesn't help that Van Damme isn't the star, but it is at least noteworthy because he proves he should be. You will only be interested in this movie if you want a horribly acted and directed "Karate Kid" rip off with adults beating each other up instead of teenagers.

22) Black Eagle

"Black Eagle" had all the makings of being an essential 80's Van Damme flick. Van Damme playing a brutal russian, awesome martial arts action with veteran ninja Sho Kosugi, and a plot involving government corruption and foreign evil. Where did it go wrong? I'm not really sure what to pin the blame on, but really, it is everything. The acting, directing, filming, script, and pacing suck. Van Damme is doing the splits on some barrels, but really I can't think of anything else interesting from this film. I'm a big Sho Kosugi fan, but it was very obvious he was on his way out and Van Damme was on his way in. It's a shame really, JCVD was coming off some serious steam with "Bloodsport" and Kosugi is the iconic 80's ninja.

21) Universal Soldier: The Return

A sequel to one of the best early 90's action films? Count me in! Even as a 13 year old boy sitting in the theater with a JCVD infatuation, I was let down. This was one movie I knew I'd never try to own on VHS or DVD. Throw in a crappy Megadeth video and a cartoonish performance by pro wrestler Bill Golderg, and its no wonder that this film was an epic fail. Sad that this was Van Damme's last foray into theatrical releases for many years and I really wish they would have pumped some more marketing into other JCVD pictures.

20) Street Fighter

What young boy wasn't obsessed with the video game "Street Fighter"? Now add Van Damme and veteran Raul Julia and you had me sold. I wasn't expecting "Raging Bull" or anything, but I was expecting something. If it wasn't for the budget and colorful cast this could possibly be the worst Van Damme movie. Hell, some may even say it is, and there is no doubting it is one of the worst movies of 1994. Raul Julia is probably rolling in his grave knowing that this was his last picture, but at least we had a younger little Kylie Minogue in a little urban camo outfit...

Part 2 coming asap, I promise....