TOP 10 LANCE HENRIKSEN

I feel like this blog has lost a little direction lately, so I decided to boost the thing up with a dose of the always fantastic Lance Henriksen. Lets not forget, this blog concerns B-movies and Mr. Henriksen could quite possibly be heralded as one of the greatest, if not greatest, B-movie actors of all time. Even if he isn't the lead, its hard for him to not steal the show in every movie he stars in. I feel bad for you if you haven't seen him shine, but if you are a frequent visitor of this website you will realize that every movie is rated by *Lance Approvals*. That is how important he is to us and the entire low budget film community. Now to get on with the list, I have ten top performances by the man himself that will go down in B-movie history:

10) Detective Hal Vukovich in "The Terminator"

Although it is a somewhat minor role, this was the start of Lancemania. Here Lance plays the sidekick detective to the frustrated but heroic Ed Traxler. He has some funny lines here and there and is ultimately gunned down by Arnie. Lance plays this role with ease and adds a little flavor to a somewhat generic role. A little trivia that many Lance fans may already know: Lance was originally going to play the Terminator until James Cameron chose Arnold in the end. Lance even showed up to the studio in full Terminator attire to scare the producers.

9) Sergeant Neff in "Damien: The Omen II"

Every son of satan needs an authoritative guardian on earth, and in "Damien: The Omen II" that guardian takes shape as a young Lance Henriksen playing a military school Sergeant. He looks after the young boy and tries to help in the moulding of young Damien as the next leader of hell. Lance does a fine job playing subdued evil.

8) Emil Fouchon in "Hard Target"

Lance takes the action film villain to a whole new level in the Van Damme picture "Hard Target". Not only does he steal the show from other quality B movie studs such as Arnold Vosloo "Darkman II: The Return of Durant" and "The Mummy", but he even outdoes the always superior action scenes by John Woo. This was Woo's introduction into America and he was still trying to find his steps, but he chose a perfect lead villain in Mr. Henriksen as he hunts down people for game, and does so in style.

7) Hank in "Survival Quest"

Rarely do we get Lance in a completely heroic and moral role, even as a good guy. We do get this with "Survival Quest" though, one of the most forgotten movies of the 1980s. Lance is one with nature and battles the always great Mark Rolston who you may also know as one of the grunt soldier in "Aliens". "Survival Quest" also has an early appearance by Catherine Keener, but really Lance steals the show once again. This film won't be remembered for it's story or other actors, but for Lance's pure awesomeness.
6) Dr. Jarret in "Man's Best Friend"

This movie is BAD. Like really BAD. Think "Beethoven" meets "Cujo" meets "Deadly Friend", but once again Lance manages to deliver quality in a den of garbage. The sheer awesomeness that he took this role seriously and put a lot of time and effort into it proves that the man is capable of greatness.

5) Jack Powell in "Nature of the Beast"

This film may be the only time Lance is ever matched in awesomeness. The co-lead star of this film is none other than Eric Roberts. This movie was basically straight to video in the mid 90s, and having these two clash is a B-movie dream. Throw in the creepiest director alive ("Powder, "Jeepers Creepers") and you have Lance getting some help from every corner to add to his already self awesomeness.

4) Ed Harley in "Pumpkinhead"

This role and movie has pretty much become legendary in the horror B-movie circuit. Directed by the late great special effects wizard Stan Winston, we have Lance in pain seeking revenge on some teenagers for his dead son through the power of an evil monster. Sadly, I have not seen his cameos in the recent straight to DVD sequels, but I doubt they can top the greatness of this role. Hard to believe this could be topped, but somehow Lance does it.

3) Chains Cooper in "Stone Cold"

Before "Sons of Anarchy" made biker gangs cool again, Lance Henriksen was the baddest biker in B-movie history. Not only does he battle the NFL bad boy Brian Bosworth, he surrounds himself with violence and debauchery throughout this entire film. It is hard to take this film seriously, but in all seriousness, Chains Cooper may be the baddest dude ever.

2) Jesse Hooker in "Near Dark"

This was hard not to put as the #1 Lance film. Not only is this my favorite "vampire" movie of all time, this is probably one of the best movies of the 1980s. Lance spent extra money buying special costume ideas to terrorize innocent people to prepare for this role. This shows how awesome Lance is. He spent probably a thousand dollars and countless hours staying in character to play the leader of a vampire gang, when most A-list celebrities don't even bother identifying with the character. If there was an oscar for awesomeness, Lance would have won it.

1) Bishop in "Aliens"

The most recognizable role of his career, and probably one of the most recognizable androids of all time. Although he is not the lead, he steals every scene with his presence as the creepy quiet android known as Bishop. Too bad he won't be most remembered for a starring role, but Bishop has a prominent role in the film, and also plays a factor in the rest of the Alien franchise. I'd let him play the knife game with my hand any day.

Honorable Mention: "Millenium" is one of the greatest television series' of all time, but since it isn't a film I decided to leave it off the list. Also worth acknowledging are his performances in "Powder", "Excessive Force", "The Quick and The Dead", and many many more...

"THE KING OF COMEDY"

Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro both have had very illustrious careers. Everyone knows this, and if they were to fade away today, they would go down as two of the best in modern day Hollywood. Their collaborations are usually something to marvel at, most notably, "Taxi Driver", "Goodfellas", and "Raging Bull". I've always been a fan of "The King of Comedy", another collaboration between the two, but for some reason over the years it has somewhat flown under the radar. Not only was I surprised to hear that a lot of people in my life had never seen or heard of this film, I was also shocked in the sense that it has never been mentioned along with the greats.

"The King of Comedy" is about a crazy up and coming comedian who will do anything to make it big. He meets his idol, Jerry Langford, masterfully played by Jerry Lewis, and the film follows him eventually stalking and kidnapping Jerry to make it onto the show he so dearly loves. I'm going to go ahead and say it, but I think this is one of De Niro's top 3 best performances along with "Taxi Driver" and "Raging Bull". Not only is he downright insane and creepy as the clueless Rupert Pupkin, he is actually funny when it comes down to his comedy routine. Jerry Lewis' somewhat autobiographical performance should also be highly praised. Throw in a degranged Sandra Bernhard (definitely the best role of her career), and you have an acting masterpiece. I'm not sure if the movie as a whole is along with the other Scorsese classics, but he said it well when he believes that this is the best performance De Niro ever gave him. Although more modest and low key than some of his other films, Scorsese really scores with this one, and for that I am writing about it and recommending it.

*3 and 1/2 Lance Approvals*

"EYE SEE YOU"

Stallone has had somewhat of a minor career resurgence in the past couple years with "Rocky Balboa", "Rambo" and the upcoming "The Expendables". Before that he was undoubtably one of the biggest action stars of all time, but lets not forget what was going on during the dark ages of Stallone's career. "Eye See You" or better known as "D-Tox" in most countries was at the pinnacle of Stallone's low period. Most of you probably forgot about this movie, or better yet, never heard of it. Maybe that is because it followed the not so hot "Get Carter" and "Driven" and was made right before he started working on such stellar projects known as "Avenging Angelo" and "Spy Kids 3-D".

Just like recently reviewed "Whiteout", this film takes place in the cold and there is a mysterious killer, with a little backstory involving a troubled cop. And although "Whiteout" was based off an original graphic novel, I believe the film adaptation rips off "Eye See You" in some small aspects. But mostly i'd say "Eye See You" is "The Thing" meets "Seven" minus the monsters but still having all the ice. I have to say I'd place this movie in the flawed but under appreciated category. The best thing this movie has going for it is the cast. The acting, especially by Stallone is far above average and you have a whole slew of actors to notice to go along with him. Dina Meyer "Starship Troopers", Robert Patrick "T2" & "X-Files", Kris Kristofferson "Blade", Charles Dutton "Alien3", Tom Berenger "Sniper" & "Platoon", Stephen Lang "Avatar" are just some of the major players in this film. As you can tell it has no shortage of B-movie greats. If you are a Stallone fan, or a late night B grade mystery fan, then this is probably a quality check for you.

*2 and 1/2 Lance Approvals*

"WHITEOUT"

"Whiteout" is definitely one of the films that slipped through the cracks in 2009. I saw a lot of negative reviews from fans and critics alike, and while I wouldn't call it one of the best of the year, it didn't deserve to make the bottom of the year lists. Based off the "acclaimed" graphic novel of the same name, the film follows a U.S. Marshall tracking down a killer on a remote base in Antarctica.

First, I have to point out a couple flaws that any decent filmmaker should have picked up while putting this film together. I know Kate Beckinsale is hot but do we really need the long drawn out undressing and shower scene? All it does is add some PG-13ness to the film and lowers the stock of a film already bordering on silly. Also, what was the point of the backstory involving Beckinsale's character and a trauma involving a captured suspect? It added nothing to the overall movement of the story and development of the lead character. I'm willing to forgive the "seen from a mile away" killer revelation if they were to omit this pointless backstory to a subpar plot. Of course bad dialogue and bad CGI comes along with a film like this, but there are also some positives to point out. Beckinsale is surprisingly not horrible, although I believe with her continuity in movies like this, her career will end up that way. Tom Skerritt also puts together a decent character in a story with not a lot of character development. Throw in some interesting killer stalking prey scenes and the always cool ice setting and you have some potential. The obvious winner once again is the scenery, which always takes first prize in any frozen setting. Probably not worth your movie ticket price, but luckily for us, this film spent about as much time in theaters as Tiger Woods spent in sex rehab. This film comes very close to hitting the late night entertainment spot and for that it may be worth some time for non-intellectual thriller fans.

*2 Lance Approvals*

"UNDERTOW"

Homework can wait, "Undertow" can't. We just finished reviewing David Gordon Green's romantic drama "All The Real Girls", but now lets talk about his follow up which i'd like to categorize as a southern drama thriller? "Undertow" follows the Munn family who live in backwoods Georgia. They are poor, but somewhat happy, until Uncle Deel shows up and ruins everything. Uncle Deel is looking for the family fortune, while at the same time chasing the Munn children around Georgia through homeless hangouts and low income homes.

"Undertow" shares a lot of the same positives as "All The Real Girls". For one, the acting is once again superb. Also, the surreal and strange feeling through the movie is even greater here than in "All The Real Girls" in my opinion. Although the style of film is completely different, they are similar, and could very well take place in the same area. I'd categorize "Undertow" as more conventional than Green's other pictures, but it shines in it's surrealistic qualities unlike conventional Hollywood crap. Although I wouldn't call this a masterpiece, it is hard to point out the flaws. It is a very solid film, dare I say Green's best?

*3 Lance Approvals*

"ALL THE REAL GIRLS"

As a blog that mostly covers horror, schlock, low budget disasters, and 80's trash, I like to throw an independent drama in there once in awhile. Let me get this straight first, I am not some ironic sweater wearing indie loving guy, and for the most part that is who will enjoy this film. But, I have to say that "All The Real Girls" offers a lot more than just your typical recent hollywood indie flick. Besides the cast and great acting work, there is a lot of beautiful scenery and interesting thoughts that are brought up. "All The Real Girls" is basically about a small southern town where one guy hangs out with his friends and takes advantage of all the girls in town. His best friend's sister comes back home and suddenly our womanizer has fallen for her and no longer has the will to be the town scumbag. The relationship creates a rift between his friends and raises other issues when it comes to romantic relationships.

As I say with many of my basic overviews of the films, I must say the film offers a lot more than just the few lines I used to describe it. Honestly though, it is a very slow film, probably too slow for some and probably too poetic as well. It doesn't follow your basic film structure and for that I applaud it. The only thing that gets on my nerves are the typical stereotypes that come with a movie of this type: THE QUIRKINESS. For the most part, when this film is serious and real is where it shines. The random "cute" statements and nonsensical jibber jabber could really be axed and ultimately exclude itself entirely from a genre it is so much above. For more casual going movie goers, you will be surprised to know that this is an early film by the director David Gordon Green. If that name doesn't sound familiar, well I can assure you that you are definitely familiar with his most recent big budget film "Pineapple Express". You may be able to tell some of the same directorial qualities in "All The Real Girls", but aside from Danny McBride playing another southern asshole, you won't find much in common between the two films. For me the film really comes together at the final moments. I won't give it away, but like many films I enjoy, it doesn't have your typical Hollywood happy ending. It is much more real.

*3 Lance Approvals*