2010 MISSES: "WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS"

For a sequel, this isn't horrible. But I couldn't get over my initial thoughts, what was the point of this movie? None really. Gordon Gekko isn't as tough. Shia LaBeouf is well, Shia LeBeouf. There are talks of the current financial crisis, and Charlie Sheen is used in a pointless cameo. That is a summary of what was interesting to me about the film. Oliver Stone is a fine film maker. There are all the elements that make a film great here: good actors, solid script, solid production, drama, etc. But "Money Never Sleeps" is missing the what makes you care factor. The original "Wall Street" is one of the great dramas of the 80s. It may be a cliche at this point, but at the time it was innovative and one of the best movies of all time on corporate greed. "Money Never Sleeps" continues that story in today's age, but why? I'm not really sure other than to comment on our country's financial crisis, which everybody is well aware of. We don't need a multi-million dollar movie filled with images of expensive apartments and nice suits to remind us of that.

*2 and 1/2 Lance Approvals*

2010 MISSES: "THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE"

Yes, you've probably heard of this movie. Yes, it is one of the sickest films in recent history. And yes, it will make you extremely uncomfortable. Surprisingly though, it isn't the most graphic or gory film out there. You don't see all the surgical details, you are mostly sickened by the idea and way the film plays out. If you are looking for some sort of comeback or positivity, you won't find it here.

The film follows 2 idiot girls traveling across Europe alone. They break down on a country road and find refuge in a house owned by an old Nazi doctor. He has sick fantasies of performing strange medical experiments on humans, and he has found the perfect subjects in these two girls. What unfolds next is a serious of disturbing sequences that have to been seen to be believed. Roger Ebert went as far as to not award this film any stars, saying something along the lines that he doesn't believe this is really a film and it doesn't deserve stars, yet it will have an audience who will see it regardless. At Death of the B-movie we aren't above rewarding the disgusting, but we also don't generously handout Lance approvals to trash. "The Human Centipede" is stuck somewhere in between. I find myself sickened by parts and bored with others. I felt it actually could have been done better. It could have been sicker. It could have been moving. But there is no denying it is one of the most controversial movies in recent memory.

*2 and 1/2 Lance Approvals*

2010 MISSES: "CYRUS"

Now this was a comedy I was actually looking forward to. I like the cast and the premise seemed like it could at least provide some laughs. I could tell from the trailer it wouldn't be a ridiculous comedy like the films Jonah Hill and John C. Reilly usually act in, but if it was able to have decent dramatic moments, I would still be down. Sadly, it fails on all fronts. I did not laugh, I did not smile, the sadness of the main character did not move me, and the quirky moments did not amuse me. What we have here is your typical Hollywood style indie movie that is subtle, to the point of pointlessness. To put it simply, I was bored.

The film has a simple, yet potentially exciting premise. A middle aged loser falls for a beautiful woman, but the only problem is she has the worst son in the world. Their relationship is strange, but not in any way that provides laughs, just awkward moments. Eventually our main character gets into a war with Tomei's son and she is forced to choose between her son and the man she has fallen for. This is one of those films you see that wins independent film awards, but aren't really sure what those awards mean. Is it one of the best independent films of the year? Are critics just giving out awards left and right? What does it mean to specifically win this award? I really don't know, but I didn't think this film deserved any praise. If anything, it was a huge disappointment. I'm not the most forgiving when it comes to comedy, but usually I am able to point out some good in a slew of bad concepts and ideas. This film did not have a bad concept. It did not have bad actors. It was not poorly made. The package just wasn't put together in any sort of interesting way.

*1 and 1/2 Lance Approvals*

2010 MISSES: "GROWN UPS"

Before the year is halfway over, I should probably mention the other films of 2010 that I loved, or hated. I've done a couple posts entitled 2010 misses this year: "Catfish", "Tron:Legacy", etc, plus my best/worst of 2010. Now it is time to get into some comedy, my most avoided genre (excluding 80's teen comedy). Let's just say I have a love/hate relationship with Adam Sandler. More of a hate relationship I guess. But I have a soft spot in my heart for "Billy Madison" and "Happy Gilmore" and I think he's put in some surprisingly well done performances, such as "Punch Drunk Love". But beyond that, the garbage he usually puts together is predictable, formulaic, and just stupid. That doesn't mean these films don't get a few laughs.

One positive I can say about Adam Sandler films is that I've never been bored. They are always filled with ridiculous cast members, cameos, and strange scenes that end at odd times. "Grown Ups" falls right into the Sandler tradition. Sadly, it doesn't break any new ground. You could probably take his character in this film and throw it into about 15 of his other movies and you wouldn't know the difference. The lovable, but troubled misfit, who somehow has the hottest wife/girlfriend and is surrounded by idiots. His cast mates aren't much better. Chris Rock is extremely unfunny as the bitchmade stay at home husband, Kevin James once again plays the fat guy where every joke revolves around his clumsy fatness, and Rob Schneider plays the oddball character who is completely out there and cartoonish. To me, it seemed like this film was more about Adam Sandler and his friends hanging out in real life, while putting together a sub par movie about old friends hanging out. It should have been the other way around. I'm all for nostalgia, but this film fails, not without a few laughs though.

*2 Lance Approvals*